Herbie & the Decibel Debacle

Monday, June 18th, 2018

Above: Herbie helping me sort music.
First we need to talk about piles. Most of us have one, if not our own, it’s our loved ones. My husband’s pile is around his chair. I could probably write a whole blog about men and their chairs, but that’s another story. Over the last 29 years I have tried many things to make the pile less irritating. Our first few years of marriage the pile was literally around his his chair, on the floor. I’m sure there is a grand organizing method, but it was still an annoying pile on the floor. Over the years I tried baskets, bitching, and cleaning. Nowadays he has a tray, that I gave him, with his pile on it so I can hide it when we have company. The tray sits on the ottoman by his chair. On this day the ottoman was covered. The tray on the right full of mail in organized piles, a stack of magazines and catalogs on the left, and in the middle a bunch of loose papers with the remotes sitting on top.

Herbie helping me read the news.

When our son moved out and started paying his own bills we actually had money left at the end of the month. Instead of raiding our savings a couple days before pay day, (if there was something to raid), we had money left over from the last paycheck we could add to savings. This is an “Empty Nester” perk. That and the fact that electronics have become more affordable, we have a very cool smart TV with a nice surround sound system, DVD player, and cable box attached. That is four remotes. We have them programmed down to two that we use on a typical day.

My husband and I had both been sick with the Jackson Hole crud. We were both on the mend but the cough still lingered. I had ordered a new tray for my music stand from Amazon.com. It got great reviews, so I was surprised when it showed up with no instructions and didn’t seem to work as advertised. I brought it over to my husband, who was sitting in his chair, to look at and see if he could figure out how to tighten up the mechanism. Of course Herbie, our big furry Maine Coon mix cat, had to be in the middle of it to help. He jumped onto the ottoman.



This all happened in just a few seconds but may as well been in slow motion. I’m standing next to my husband who is sitting in his chair, both of us looking at the new tray discussing how it’s supposed to work. I noticed the volume of the surround sound system was going up, slowly at first but increasing in speed. I turned and looked at Herbie, who was sitting on the ottoman, and I saw the end of the remote to the surround sound sticking out from underneath his big furry bum. I went to reach for it but the sound started increasing rapidly, and with every decibel Herbie’s eyes got bigger and his ears went back further. Then when the level of sound was so loud I was afraid we would blow the speakers… Herbie took off like a bat out of hell! Except he had been sitting on top of my husbands pile. His legs were moving but he wasn’t going anywhere. POOF! All those papers went flying! The remotes, went flying! Magazines, went flying! When he finally reached the bottom of the pile and could dig his claws into the soft fabric of the ottoman his body caught up with his legs and he vanished in a cloud of papers.

Herbie Helping me with my boot bag.

You know how it is when you’re sick with a lung bug and you start to laugh… then cough because of the laugh? I thought we were both going to die. OMG! I could barely get to the surround sound box to turn the volume down, the remote had flowed somewhere that was not immediately known. Once the volume was back at a normal level, I leaned over to catch my breath, looked over at my husband who was turning red and coughing and laughing at the same time too. I stopped coughing, caught my breath, wiped the tears from my face, and went looking for Herbie. He was fine, probably more upset by the indignity of humans laughing at him.

 

Herbie was OK, the speakers were OK, we figured out how the music stand tray worked, and the cough is gone. All is well at Herbie house.

 
 
 

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