1 April, 2016
4800 y/o Human Remains Found in the Tetons
I can’t believe this is being erased from the internet!
A couple weeks ago local ski enthusiasts, Clarice Prairie and Becca Tacloet, took off for a quick hike up the Grand Teton for what they thought would be a non-eventful spring ski. They noted several new rock slides from the early March earthquake swarm along the way, but continued their hike to the top. As Prairie and Tacloet were climbing over some lose rock from a slide, Prairie slipped and fell into a narrow space in the rocks that opened into a small cave. She nearly landed in the lap of some human remains, next to the remains were some modern electronic devices. Prairie and Tacloet took several photos, noted the GPS location in their iPhones, and continued with their ski. When Prairie and Tacloet arrived at the trail head they notified the local authorities of their discovery, and texted photo of their find to me.
Archaeologist and global warming expert, Vika Starkington, was in the area doing a study of ancient human dwellings recently uncovered by melting glaciers. Starkington excavated the site and sent samples to Washington for carbon dating and DNA testing. The carbon dating concluded everything found in the cave was approximately 4,800 years old. “This is very confusing” said Starkington, “The lab ran [the carbon dating test] 4 times, and the results were the same.”
The DNA results were even more confusing. The remains were that of JJ Wrightner, a local inventor that went missing last June. On the day of his disappearance his VW Bug was found at trail head with his journal and a note on the seat. Wrightner had been working on a time travel device, the note said that he had found the secret to time travel, it’s elevation. He planned to go to 1955 to prove his hero, “Doc” Brown, was based on a real person. His note said that if he did not return something may have gone wrong, and he was leaving his journal for further time travel study.
Grand Teton National Park SAR found Wrightner’s day pack and hiking stick on the top of the Grand Teton but never located his body, until now. Geologist Liv Klinger hypothesized Wrightner’s time travel device was a success but tragically put him in the Tetons at at the time of the last big earthquake on the Teton Fault, and Wrightner’s time travel device being the cause of the earthquake. When called for an interview, Klinger said she was focusing all her time trying to pass a bill banning time travel.
Local news papers, Jackson Hole News & Guide, Plant Jackson Hole, and Buckrail.com all ran this story earlier this week, but now the stories are gone! Prairie and Tacloet were last seen yesterday getting pushed into a black SUV near Albertson’s by two men in black suits. Witness Kay Krachy said “I was waiting for Wolfie to do his business when this black SUV stopped then two men in black jumped out and grabbed the girls. It was just like something from the X-Files.”
In addition, all of Prairie and Tacloet’s social media accounts have vanished.